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I've been sitting still, for hours on end for the last few weeks, struggling with my latest book. In the mornings I work out, or go for a walk to a cafe where I sit still and struggle at something that seems ungraspable. For the last two days I have been in my house, due to the cold/rain outside and my whiney southern Ontario disposition and inability to purchase proper footwear, and alternate between reading books that I think might help me, and reading the internet which sometimes helps but mostly hinders. I have a new iPhone, which also does not help me.
Every time I begin a new project, even if it's the beginning of a new phase of a current project, like say, THE SECOND DRAFT THAT MAKES NO SENSE phase, I forget that there is this moment where the entire progress of the book relies on these days of sitting still, doing what seems like nothing at all. For every five minutes of inward cursing and self-esteem battling, there are moments of revelation or deep thoughts about my character's motivations or their interior lives. It's the moment that goes beyond the Hey I Have This Neat Idea for as Story, and forces you to look at the deep guts of that story and how to tell it and why to tell it, and forces you to explain it to yourself, and then reckon with yourself about its worth and how to make it more worthy, or worthy enough for someone else to give a shit.
So, instead of beating myself up for procrastination and making things worse I'm going to just keep sitting here, hoping a major revelation will come out of all this composting of thought about my book. It's happened before. I just shouldn't rush it, even if the two years as a reporter helped me to find the story and just write it by 5, that's not the way novels work.
Every time I begin a new project, even if it's the beginning of a new phase of a current project, like say, THE SECOND DRAFT THAT MAKES NO SENSE phase, I forget that there is this moment where the entire progress of the book relies on these days of sitting still, doing what seems like nothing at all. For every five minutes of inward cursing and self-esteem battling, there are moments of revelation or deep thoughts about my character's motivations or their interior lives. It's the moment that goes beyond the Hey I Have This Neat Idea for as Story, and forces you to look at the deep guts of that story and how to tell it and why to tell it, and forces you to explain it to yourself, and then reckon with yourself about its worth and how to make it more worthy, or worthy enough for someone else to give a shit.
So, instead of beating myself up for procrastination and making things worse I'm going to just keep sitting here, hoping a major revelation will come out of all this composting of thought about my book. It's happened before. I just shouldn't rush it, even if the two years as a reporter helped me to find the story and just write it by 5, that's not the way novels work.
It would mean *so* much to me. xo
why yes, I AM the queen of summer salads
Apr. 8th, 2009 07:16 pm
Green Bean salad:
In bowl combine fresh herbs, olive oil, rice vinegar and red wine vinegar to taste, and sliced tiny tomatoes. Put in fridge while you steam green n' yellow beans. Rinse in cold water and add to the tomato mixture. Mix it up and add more vinegar to taste. Then crumble goats' cheese on top.
a new poem in progress
Dec. 8th, 2008 11:17 pmIn Brussels
You have a book of translations in Brussels
You have gentle cubes of chocolate for your sister in Brussels
You will be capitalized after pressing return in Brussels
You are in room 426 at the Hotel Atlas in Brussels
You have climbed up onto the roof to take photos in Brussels
You found fair trade coffee and three English waiters in Brussels
You have one pair of clean socks in Brussels
You have wifi in the lounge and a gay face in Brussels
You read about youtube composer Nico Muhly in Brussels
You reproduce only what you understand in Brussels
You have a girlfriend who hates being asked for the time in Brussels
You have the Vol. 6, No.8, October 2008 issue of the Believer in Brussels
You have an itchy throat and variant paranoia in Brussels
You pre-anesthetize your tonsils with cherry lozenges in Brussels
You do not correspond with Elizabeth Bishop in Brussels
You have twelve days left of travel in Brussels
You don’t know how Asia feels about the book in Brussels
You cannot nap without dreaming of a slow fade in Brussels
You have found the perfect shoes in Brussels
You say Oiseau with a shy accent in Brussels
You are happy to comment on that in Brussels
You sleep into your chin in Brussels
You have a book of translations in Brussels
You have gentle cubes of chocolate for your sister in Brussels
You will be capitalized after pressing return in Brussels
You are in room 426 at the Hotel Atlas in Brussels
You have climbed up onto the roof to take photos in Brussels
You found fair trade coffee and three English waiters in Brussels
You have one pair of clean socks in Brussels
You have wifi in the lounge and a gay face in Brussels
You read about youtube composer Nico Muhly in Brussels
You reproduce only what you understand in Brussels
You have a girlfriend who hates being asked for the time in Brussels
You have the Vol. 6, No.8, October 2008 issue of the Believer in Brussels
You have an itchy throat and variant paranoia in Brussels
You pre-anesthetize your tonsils with cherry lozenges in Brussels
You do not correspond with Elizabeth Bishop in Brussels
You have twelve days left of travel in Brussels
You don’t know how Asia feels about the book in Brussels
You cannot nap without dreaming of a slow fade in Brussels
You have found the perfect shoes in Brussels
You say Oiseau with a shy accent in Brussels
You are happy to comment on that in Brussels
You sleep into your chin in Brussels
For Immediate Release
Jun. 17th, 2008 09:16 amEMERGING GAY WRITER RECOGNIZED AT PRIDE WEEK 2008
THE WRITERS ’ TRUST OF CANADA TO PRESENT SECOND ANNUAL
DAYNE OGILVIE GRANT TO ZOE WHITTALL
TORONTO, ON – June 17, 2008 – The Writers’ Trust of Canada announced today that Zoe Whittall is the recipient of the second annual Dayne Ogilvie Grant. The $4,000 grant is given to an emerging gay writer from Canada. The grant is funded by an endowment established by Robin Pacific. A jury comprised of novelist Elizabeth Ruth, poet Maureen Hynes, and bookseller Dan Bazuin selected the winner.
Don Oravec, Executive Director of the Writers’ Trust, stated, “I am honoured to be partners with Pride Toronto and The Word on the Street to promote this unique grant. Announcing this grant during Pride Week provides emerging gay writers the deserved distinction in the community.”
Whittall is scheduled to read from her work and participate with the jurors in an informal question and answer session at the Proud Voices Stage on Saturday, June 28, 2008 at 6 p.m., in James Canning Gardens Park, north of Dundonald Street, between Yonge and Church Streets. Proud Voices is a co-presentation between Pride Toronto and The Word On The Street.
Whittall’s first novel, Bottle Rocket Hearts, was published by Cormorant Books in 2007 to cross-country rave reviews. The novel was chosen as a Globe and Mail Notable Book of 2007 and Zoe was named NOW Magazine’s Emerging Author of 2007. In commenting on the book, juror Maureen Hynes stated, “Whittall’s writing is smart, edgy, and clear-eyed. She paints a scene beautifully, slows it down to its essence, and yet keeps the novel’s momentum moving forward. Definitely a writer to watch!”
Whittall was born and raised on a sheep farm in South Durham, Quebec. At 19 she moved to Montreal, attended Concordia University, and founded the successful performance series Girlspit. She is currently enrolled at the University of Guelph in the MFA program of Creative Writing and lives in Toronto.
Whittall’s writing has been anthologized in Ribsauce, Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity, Girls Who Bite Back, and Bent. She has authored articles for Kiss Machine, The Globe and Mail, the National Post, and NOW Magazine; edited the critically acclaimed anthology Geeks and Misfits; (“a who’s who of edgy Can-Lit” – The Globe and Mail) and published two books of poetry, The Emily Valentine Poems and The Best 10 Minutes of Your Life. Her poetry has been selected for Breathing Fire 2: Canada’s New Poets, edited by Lorna Crozier and Patrick Lane.
“Zoe Whittall might just possibly be the cockiest, brashest, funniest, toughest, most life-affirming, elegant, scruffy, no-holds-barred writer to emerge from Montreal since Mordecai Richler.” – The Globe and Mail
“Zoe Whittall’s debut novel, Bottle Rocket Hearts, is an achingly good read, bringing moments of joy to the reader along with heartache and sorrow ... This book comes alive for the reader and is a lovely coming-of-age story for women to reflect on and perhaps even relate to their daughters.” – The Calgary Herald
Dayne Ogilvie was a highly respected freelance book editor, writer, and manager. A passionate lover of all the arts, he died in October 2006.
Robin Pacific, the donor of the grant, stated, “I established this award to honour the memory of a brilliant, outrageous, and very proud gay man. Dayne and I were friends and soulmates for 25 years. He taught me a great deal about good music and good writing, and how to keep on loving when the ones you love die. It is a privilege to carry out his legacy by awarding a grant in his name to this talented writer. Dayne would have loved this book.”
The Writers’ Trust of Canada is a national charitable organization providing a level of support to writers unmatched by any other non-governmental organization or foundation. Through its various programs and awards, it celebrates the talents and achievements of Canada’s writers. For more information visit www.writerstrust.com.
-30-
Contact Don Oravec (416.504.8222 ext. 244, or doravec@writerstrust.com)
THE WRITERS ’ TRUST OF CANADA TO PRESENT SECOND ANNUAL
DAYNE OGILVIE GRANT TO ZOE WHITTALL
TORONTO, ON – June 17, 2008 – The Writers’ Trust of Canada announced today that Zoe Whittall is the recipient of the second annual Dayne Ogilvie Grant. The $4,000 grant is given to an emerging gay writer from Canada. The grant is funded by an endowment established by Robin Pacific. A jury comprised of novelist Elizabeth Ruth, poet Maureen Hynes, and bookseller Dan Bazuin selected the winner.
Don Oravec, Executive Director of the Writers’ Trust, stated, “I am honoured to be partners with Pride Toronto and The Word on the Street to promote this unique grant. Announcing this grant during Pride Week provides emerging gay writers the deserved distinction in the community.”
Whittall is scheduled to read from her work and participate with the jurors in an informal question and answer session at the Proud Voices Stage on Saturday, June 28, 2008 at 6 p.m., in James Canning Gardens Park, north of Dundonald Street, between Yonge and Church Streets. Proud Voices is a co-presentation between Pride Toronto and The Word On The Street.
Whittall’s first novel, Bottle Rocket Hearts, was published by Cormorant Books in 2007 to cross-country rave reviews. The novel was chosen as a Globe and Mail Notable Book of 2007 and Zoe was named NOW Magazine’s Emerging Author of 2007. In commenting on the book, juror Maureen Hynes stated, “Whittall’s writing is smart, edgy, and clear-eyed. She paints a scene beautifully, slows it down to its essence, and yet keeps the novel’s momentum moving forward. Definitely a writer to watch!”
Whittall was born and raised on a sheep farm in South Durham, Quebec. At 19 she moved to Montreal, attended Concordia University, and founded the successful performance series Girlspit. She is currently enrolled at the University of Guelph in the MFA program of Creative Writing and lives in Toronto.
Whittall’s writing has been anthologized in Ribsauce, Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity, Girls Who Bite Back, and Bent. She has authored articles for Kiss Machine, The Globe and Mail, the National Post, and NOW Magazine; edited the critically acclaimed anthology Geeks and Misfits; (“a who’s who of edgy Can-Lit” – The Globe and Mail) and published two books of poetry, The Emily Valentine Poems and The Best 10 Minutes of Your Life. Her poetry has been selected for Breathing Fire 2: Canada’s New Poets, edited by Lorna Crozier and Patrick Lane.
“Zoe Whittall might just possibly be the cockiest, brashest, funniest, toughest, most life-affirming, elegant, scruffy, no-holds-barred writer to emerge from Montreal since Mordecai Richler.” – The Globe and Mail
“Zoe Whittall’s debut novel, Bottle Rocket Hearts, is an achingly good read, bringing moments of joy to the reader along with heartache and sorrow ... This book comes alive for the reader and is a lovely coming-of-age story for women to reflect on and perhaps even relate to their daughters.” – The Calgary Herald
Dayne Ogilvie was a highly respected freelance book editor, writer, and manager. A passionate lover of all the arts, he died in October 2006.
Robin Pacific, the donor of the grant, stated, “I established this award to honour the memory of a brilliant, outrageous, and very proud gay man. Dayne and I were friends and soulmates for 25 years. He taught me a great deal about good music and good writing, and how to keep on loving when the ones you love die. It is a privilege to carry out his legacy by awarding a grant in his name to this talented writer. Dayne would have loved this book.”
The Writers’ Trust of Canada is a national charitable organization providing a level of support to writers unmatched by any other non-governmental organization or foundation. Through its various programs and awards, it celebrates the talents and achievements of Canada’s writers. For more information visit www.writerstrust.com.
-30-
Contact Don Oravec (416.504.8222 ext. 244, or doravec@writerstrust.com)
why i love summer - my lunch
Jun. 14th, 2008 03:30 pm
smoked tofu, radishes, peaches, banana, blackberries, watercress, etc. So good.
